The Need For Self Esteem 

Self Esteem has been an often-quoted buzz word. Numerous books, studies, and articles have been written throughout the Jewish and secular world on this topic for good reason. Self-worth is the notion that every human being absolutely needs to succeed yet is simultaneously an area where so many seek personal growth. In Angels Don’t Leave Footprints: Discovering what’s right with yourself (Artscroll), by Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski defines and discusses the need for self-respect as, “Self-esteem is a feeling, an attitude that a person has about himself. It is primarily composed of two components, competence, and self-worth. Having self-esteem means that a person feels that he has the wherewithal to deal with life. He has an inherent ability to think, learn, make decisions, and cope with whatever life presents.”

Low self-confidence means a person has negative unwarranted connotations of himself. A bright person might think of themselves as being dull; an agile person may think they are awkward, while a charismatic person may think of himself as a bore.

There’s a simple reason for these unjustified feelings that create so much havoc. A person can adjust well to reality only if he has an accurate perception of truth. If a person spends lavishly because he maintains the assumption that he has millions of dollars while he is in fact impoverished, he is certain to get into deep trouble.

Every person is a major force in their own reality. If a person has a negative perception of themselves, then he is going to adjust to life according to this incorrect self-assessment. One’s grasp of reality is flawed and his adjustment to life will suffer.

If a person doesn’t recognize their self-worth, then they will lack a life as intended. It is said in the name of Rav Tzadok Hakohen that the same way a person needs to believe in Hashem, so too he must have faith in himself. The sefer Kavod Hatzmi explains this statement as a person who needs to think if Hakadosh Baruch Hu in his infinite wisdom and perfection decided to create me, then He must feel that I offer a great benefit to the world, and I must have the capacity to contribute something amazing. I also have within me the ability to carry out those incredible achievements. Think about it, Hashem created a perfect world with nothing spare. If Hashem really put his time and his effort into bringing ME into the world, then I must have something significant to offer and I can accomplish that task. However, the issue lies in someone who fails to recognize those capabilities and doesn’t take advantage of the great strengths they possess that would translate into great accomplishments. Rav Yerucham Levovitz zt”l related, “Woe is to a person that fails to recognize their flaws because then they do not know what is required to heal, but ay vavoy (that means super Oy in Yiddish) to a person that doesn’t know their strengths because then that would overlook the tools available.

For a person to recognize their mission in this world and to succeed at a given task to live life to its fullest, they first must develop a clear understanding of their inherent value. I am a portion of Hashem who created me with the capability to make great accomplishments. Second, we need to look deep within ourselves, recognize, and be proud of our talents, strengths, and positive attributes that Hashem has blessed us with and bezrat Hashem through these attributes we will break down barriers, truly accomplish, and live truly fulfilling lives.

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Rabbi Yaakov Moskowitz is a motivational speaker who has inspired Jews around the world through his engaging lectures and videos on a wide array of practical Jewish topics. To receive Rabbi Moskowitz’s short clips, email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..