Perseverance And Triumph - The Basis Of Brachah

Not long ago, there was a yeshivah bachur in Haifa, let’s call him Berel, who sought a worthy shidduch. The bachelor was a bit advanced in age at 28 years old and his yeshivah peers had already married and continued a new chapter in their lives, learning in the myriad of kollelim offered throughout Eretz Yisrael.

This alter bachur watched as the young men who had recently joined the yeshivah, and even a handful who had barely attended regular programming, were soon getting engaged and off to their next page of life, yet Berel remained stuck without friends or a contemporary of his own age to share his tribulations. The troubled man sat alone with sadness covering his face, and with an almost hopeless feeling his eyes turned to Hashem, “Master of the world, what will become of me, I feel like giving up!”

On a stroll through Haifa’s streets Berel was overcome with depression. Suddenly, a fellow yid ran over, "Reb yid! There is a sheva brachot (ceremony of celebration for a newly married couple) underway upstairs at this apartment building. Please, come up, we need you!” (Sheva brachot require a minyan of ten Jewish men together allowing for the blessings to be recited.)

Berel was not in the mood for a celebratory affair, and certainly not for a sheva brachot. The last idea on Berel’s mind was to rejoice. The inauspicious man wanted to run away and burst into tears. Hearing the request, Berel stood still almost speechless. Deep inside he had hoped the man would find an alternate volunteer to act in his stead, however, there was no such luck, and the yid was stubborn, "Listen, there isn’t a soul around; you must participate!” Not having it, Berel attempted to dodge, “But I do not know either the groom or the bride!” Unphased the yid persisted, “Nu nu, not an issue, Jews are all brothers, we are one family, let’s go!” Begrudgingly, Berel relented thinking he would simply rest in a quiet corner so the guests could count him for the minyan and nothing further. Nevertheless, a drastically different scenario played out. Roughly five minutes after he washed HaMotzi and tasted a bit of food, the attendees urged Berel to honor them with a tune, “We want you to sing a little; let’s make the mood exciting!” Despite song being the furthest from Berel’s mind, he acquiesced and was soon joined by a chorus of those present. Berel surprised himself at how he brought joy and excitement to the otherwise dull simchah. The yid who had urged his attendance commented, “You sing so beautifully! Now let’s hear you give a drashah too!"

Unprepared, Berel found himself a bit embarrassed, but the man remained obstinate so Berel rose from his chair and began his remarks by bestowing praise upon the groom for being such a special person, and added that in turn, the bride must also be very special...

After the event wrapped up, a guest offered praise for Berel’s thoughts, “Your drashah was something special! As you were speaking, it dawned on me, I have a 24-year-old sister. She is a girl who is full of wonderful virtues. Can I suggest her to you?” As the story goes, the pair met several times, and eventually joined under the chupah of Avraham Avinu and Sarah Imeinu!

At his own sheva brachot, Berel reflected on the disdain that had festered within him when the yid insisted that he join the celebration, “I nearly demanded that the man leave me alone!”

So, what led Berel to emerge from the depths of his sorrowful pit of misery? By forcing himself to overcome the impulse to run from the gathering, Berel merited a bountiful reward. A Jew must know that when one walks in tandem with HaKadosh Baruch Hu and exerts themselves in service to the Almighty in face of bitter difficulties, Hashem will return the favor in blessing that lasts an eternity.

Based on Rabbi Goel Alkarif shlit”a from Sas Beimratecha; Naeh Doresh, 5783.

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Rabbi Leeor Dahan, a graduate of Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim/RSA, is well versed in aspects of halachah and has written commentary on the Mishnah Berurah, and Shulchan Aruch. Rabbi Dahan encourages his congregants at Kehilat Avodat Hashem in Hillcrest, Queens to find time in their day for the study of Torah and associated halachic customs.