Parshat Emor: Leading By Example

At the beginning of parshat Emor, the pasuk begins with "Emor el hakohanim"—say to the kohanim. Immediately following, it says "Vamarta aleyhem"—and say to them. Rashi explains that the kohanim received a double charge: they were tasked with safeguarding their own kedushah and with "Lehazir gedolim al haKetanim"—guiding the elders to educate the younger generation.

My father, Rav Yitzchok Fingerer shlit"a, shared an insight from the sefer Be'eres Mayim. The sefer explains that the word lehazir—to warn—derives from Zohar, meaning to radiate or shine. The most effective way to guide and inspire others, according to the Be'eres Mayim, is by radiating kindness and joy. The best way to impact others is to lead by example. In this light, adults were instructed to lovingly guide children by being positive role models.

From this, we learn that the most powerful way to influence and guide others is not through preaching but by leading and inspiring through example.

A powerful story illustrates this: In yeshivah, a group of boys enjoyed playing pranks. One night, around 12:30 a.m., one of them decided to prank call Rav Moshe Feinstein zt"l, the gadol hador. The boy dialed the number, and the Rebbetzin answered, saying that Rav Moshe was sleeping. She asked if it was an emergency and whether she should wake him. The boy claimed to have a serious halachic question.

After washing his hands and reciting Birchas HaTorah, Rav Moshe came to the phone. Realizing it was likely a prank, he didn’t hang up. Instead, he gently asked the boy which yeshivah he attended. After some reassurance, the boy revealed his school. Rav Moshe then asked what daf the boy was learning. Though the boy was usually inattentive in class, he managed to recall the page.

Rav Moshe then posed a question on Tosfos and asked if the boy understood it. The boy admitted he didn’t even know the gemorah. With infinite patience, Rav Moshe offered to learn with him. For an hour, Rav Moshe taught the boy the gemorah and Tosfos until the boy understood. Finally, Rav Moshe suggested that the boy ask his rebbe the Tosfos' question the next day.

The next morning, the usually inattentive boy surprised his rebbi by raising his hand to ask the question. The rebbe, astonished, asked where he had learned it. When the boy mentioned Rav Moshe, the rebbe was shocked. “Rav Moshe? Rav Moshe Feinstein?!”

For days, the rebbe couldn’t stop thinking about the question. Eventually, he came up with an answer and proudly shared it with the class. That evening, the boy locked himself in his room and cried tears of gratitude. When his concerned parents questioned the peculiar behavior, he replied, “Rav Moshe believed in me! Rav Moshe showed me love and validation! If Rav Moshe believes in me, I believe in myself!” From that day forward, the boy transformed his life, eventually becoming a respected rebbe who inspired others—because Rav Moshe had believed in him.

Rav Moshe didn’t give mussar or criticism. Instead, he radiated kindness, love, and unwavering belief in the potential of every Jew. Let us strive to do the same—spreading light, spreading love, and inspiring others through our example.

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