Is This Generation Weaker?

Q: It seems like everyone is in therapy these days. So many children are being diagnosed with ADHD or anxiety, teenagers are struggling with depression, and adults seem to be talking about mental health more than ever. I don’t remember my parents’ or grandparents’ generation needing therapists - they seemed to manage just fine. Is this generation so much weaker than prior? Or is something else going on?

-Anonymous

A: I appreciate this question because I think so many people are wondering the same thing. In fact, I have thought about this myself for quite some time. On the surface, it can certainly seem like we’ve gone from one extreme to another. A generation or two ago, hardly anyone spoke about diagnoses of anxiety, depression, OCD, ADHD, or trauma. Today, these words have become part of our everyday vocabulary.

I’m reminded of a client I had a number of years ago. An 11-year-old boy was referred to me for psychotherapy due to his frequent angry outbursts and impulsive behavior that was getting him into trouble at school. I recall meeting with this boy’s father, we’ll call him Joe (name changed for confidentiality), as part of the intake assessment, who described how he was “going along” with this whole ordeal of therapy because the school was “forcing him to” – but he didn’t really understand why his son needed therapy. After all, he explained, “When I was a kid, I was the same way. I even got hit a decent amount, and I figured it out! And now I’m a successful businessman with a nice family; I did okay”. As I sat there listening to him, the exact question you asked ran through my mind. So, what changed? And is it a good thing?

Let’s start with what hasn’t changed. Human beings have always struggled – the Torah is quite honest about that. We read about fear, grief, loneliness, jealousy, trauma, family conflict, disappointment, and heartbreak; all at the very beginning of the Chumash in Sefer Bereishis. Dovid HaMelech cries out in Tehillim from places of profound anguish. Chana pours out her broken heart before Hashem. Eliyahu HaNavi reaches such despair that he asks Hashem to take his life. These are just some of the many examples of the Torah presenting emotional pain as something typical to righteous people. It reminds us that struggling emotionally is part of the human experience.

Our grandparents were no different. Many undoubtedly struggled with anxiety. Others likely experienced depression, obsessive thinking, panic attacks, attention difficulties, or learning differences. They simply didn’t have the language we have today. Instead of saying someone had generalized anxiety, people might have said, «He’s always been the nervous type.» Instead of recognizing ADHD, a child might have been labeled «wild,» «lazy,» or «not applying himself.» Someone with depression may have simply been described as «quiet» or «not himself.» The struggles were often there. We just understood them differently.

In medicine, we’ve become much more competent at diagnosing heart disease, diabetes, and cancer than we were fifty years ago, Baruch Hashem. That doesn’t necessarily mean those illnesses suddenly appeared – it means our understanding improved. The same is true in behavioral health. Over the last several decades, research in neuroscience and psychology has taught us an incredible amount about how the brain develops, how genetics interact with life experiences, and how chronic stress affects emotional functioning. We now recognize conditions that previous generations often missed.

But that’s only half the story. I also believe—and the research increasingly supports this—that there are unique pressures facing today’s generation. Never before has the human brain been asked to process so much information every waking hour. Our phones rarely stop buzzing. News reaches us instantly from every corner of the globe. Social media invites us to compare our lives with everyone else’s highlight reel. Children are introduced to technology at younger and younger ages. Teenagers often feel like they’re being observed every moment of the day. Even adults rarely experience true quiet anymore.

Many of our grandparents faced struggles we will never fully grasp, which required unthinkable sacrifice. But that does not mean we should minimize the impact technological and social advances have had on our mental well-being. When previous generations sat down for dinner, there wasn’t a smartphone on the table competing for everyone’s attention. When children came home from school, the social pressures often ended until the next morning. Today, they can follow them into their bedrooms every night. In short, in our grandparents’ world there was more time to breathe and be mindful of one’s sense of self. Today, the pace of life has accelerated dramatically. Additionally, many adults are balancing demanding careers, raising children, caring for aging parents, managing finances, navigating technology, and trying to stay emotionally present for everyone they love – all while feeling like there is never enough time. That constant pressure has consequences as well.

Lastly, there’s another important factor that deserves mention. Baruch Hashem, our community has become more compassionate and sensitive to the needs of those suffering with mental health challenges. Years ago, someone who was struggling emotionally often suffered quietly. There was fear of embarrassment. Parents worried about shidduchim. People didn’t want others to know. Thankfully, that is slowly changing. Today, more people understand that asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It is often a sign of wisdom – wisdom that the Torah itself prescribes. The Gemara Berachos 5B teaches, אֵין חָבוּשׁ מַתִּיר עַצְמוֹ מִבֵּית הָאֲסוּרִים, «The prisoner cannot free himself from prison.» Sometimes every one of us needs another person to help us see a way forward.

Chazal understood long before modern psychology that healing often happens in a therapeutic relationship. The Rambam, in Hilchos De’os 2:1, describes emotional health as following the derech ha’emtza—the balanced middle path. Sometimes life knocks us off course, and we need guidance getting back to that balance. And he adds that the «רוֹפְאֵי הַנְּפָשׁוֹת», the healers of the soul, are often the ones who can assist with this.

It is important to note that although I believe anyone can benefit from psychotherapy, not everyone needs psychotherapy. People can be incredibly resilient and often find their own ways to grow, work through challenges and become the best version of themselves. Support from family, friends, educators and teachings of the Torah can all play an important role in that process. But when challenges continue even after trying different ways to work through them, therapy is a helpful space to get additional support and education, gain new tools and find a way forward.

Perhaps the most important message is this: Seeking help doesn’t mean today’s generation is weaker than previous generations. In many ways, it means we have more knowledge, more effective treatments, and a greater willingness to care for emotional health just as we care for physical health. If your child needed glasses, you wouldn’t hesitate to take him to an eye doctor. If your spouse developed high blood pressure, you wouldn’t encourage them to simply «try harder.» Mental health deserves the very same compassion.

A few months after starting to work with his son, I had another collateral session with Joe. After discussing his son’s gradual progress in his behavior, emotional well-being and overall feeling better about himself, Joe said something to me which I will never forget: “You know Doc? I wish I had this therapy-thing when I was his age”.

At the Ohel Family Center, we have the privilege of working with children, adolescents, adults, couples, and families from throughout the Queens community. Every day we watch people who once felt stuck begin to feel hopeful again. Children gain confidence. Marriages heal. Anxiety quiets. Depression lifts. Families reconnect. No one should ever feel embarrassed about asking for help. Sometimes reaching out is the strongest and most courageous step a person can take.

Have a question you’d like answered in a future column? We’d love to hear from you. Email your questions to: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.