The Power Of The Circle: Why You Shouldn’t Walk Alone

In my years of practice, I have seen a recurring moment unfold again and again: a client describes a deeply painful thought or a paralyzing symptom of anxiety or depression, then pauses and asks quietly, “Am I the only one who feels this way?”

That question is the heartbeat of human isolation.

Within the frum community—where we value family, communal strength, and the ability to keep pace with a demanding lifestyle—mental health struggles can feel like a private exile. We fear that if we speak openly, we will be judged, labeled, or defined by our difficulty.

But there is a powerful remedy for this particular loneliness: the support group.

 

1. Breaking the Mirror of Isolation

When someone struggles with mental health, the mind can become a hall of mirrors. You see only your own pain, your own perceived failures, your own exhaustion. Slowly, you begin to believe that everyone else is functioning effortlessly while you are barely staying afloat.

Entering a support group shatters that mirror.

For the first time, you hear your “secret” thoughts spoken by someone else. You realize that the ache or darkness you carry is not a character flaw—it is part of a shared human experience. That realization often brings a visceral sense of relief that even excellent individual therapy sometimes cannot replicate.

 

2. The “Me Too” Factor

There is a unique shift that happens when one person says, “I didn’t have the energy to get out of bed for three days,” and another responds, “Me too.”

In that moment:

Stigma softens. If others experience it, it must be a condition—not a weakness.

Shame diminishes. You stop blaming yourself for not being “strong enough.”

Hope reappears. Seeing someone else navigating the same struggle offers a roadmap for your own survival.

The simple words “me too” carry extraordinary therapeutic weight.

 

3. Navigating Community with Confidence

A common barrier in our community is fear—fear of what others might think, fear about shidduchim, fear of social consequences. Silence can feel like protection.

But a professionally facilitated support group creates what I often call a “sacred container.” Within those walls—or Zoom screens—the question shifts from “Who are you in the community?” to “How are you doing today?”

Participants often discover something profound: it is entirely possible to be a G-d-fearing Jew and a person managing Bipolar Disorder, Generalized Anxiety, or depression at the same time. These identities do not cancel one another out. They coexist.

And that realization strengthens communal bonds rather than weakening them.

 

4. What a Support Group Offers

Feature        Benefit

Shared Language  You do not have to

          explain what a panic

          attack feels like—

          they already

          understand.

Collective Wisdom Members share

          practical tools,

          referrals, habits, and

          strategies that helped

          them through difficult

          moments.

Accountability      Knowing others

          expect to see you can

          be the very motivation

          that gets you out

          of the house.

Perspective  Supporting someone

          else in the group can

          restore your own sense

          of purpose and agency.

Support groups are not simply places to vent. They are places to recalibrate, reconnect, and rebuild.

5. Taking the First Step

If you feel like you are walking through a dark tunnel alone, know this: there is a line of people walking beside you—you simply have not turned on the light yet.

Joining a support group is not an admission of defeat. It is an act of courage. It says, “I am worth the effort of finding others who understand.”

In The Listening Corner, we often emphasize the importance of being heard. But sometimes, the most healing moment is not being heard—it is hearing that you are not alone.

---

David Kahan is a licensed Clinical Social Worker and psychotherapist with over a decade of experience. He has worked in various mental health clinics and is now seeing clients in private practice. He accepts most insurance plans and can be found on Headway. He is currently accepting clients dealing with new or established mild to moderate mental health diagnoses and can be reached at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or 718-350-5408..