My Hand Of Hashem Story

My name is Cohen Binyaminov, and I had the great privilege to undergo a bone marrow transplant at Memorial Sloan Kettering (MSK) in May 2024. Baruch Hashem, during our 23-day stay in the hospital, my family and I witnessed moments of unmistakable Divine kindness — miracles so clear that no words can fully capture their depth. From the long months of preparation to the delicate period of recovery, every step revealed how closely Hashem walks beside us, even when the road ahead is uncertain.

One miracle stands out in particular. It is a story of how Hashem’s mercy can overturn nature, bureaucracy, and circumstance when a heart turns to Him completely.

 

A Struggle With No Easy Solution

After my transplant, one of the major complications I faced was severely low immunoglobulin (IgG) levels — the antibodies that form the foundation of our immune system. While a healthy person’s level is around 1000, mine was barely 10% of normal, leaving me weak and prone to infections. The doctors began intravenous immunoglobulin (IVIG) treatments, but I suffered serious reactions — fever, chills, rash, migraines, and shortness of breath — forcing them to stop.

They then proposed subcutaneous IGG therapy, injected slowly into the fatty tissue of the stomach — a safer, more tolerable method. But insurance denied the treatment again and again — four times — despite my doctors’ clear recommendation.

I was instructed to live almost in isolation: mask always on, no physical contact beyond elbow bumps, constant sanitizing. Even with these precautions, I still fell ill seven or eight times.

 

A Heartfelt Tefilah

During a follow-up visit, I asked my oncologist what the treatment would cost out-of-pocket. His answer: “Cohen, it’s between $15,000 and $20,000 a month.”

A few close friends immediately offered to help. “Cohen,” they said, “get the prescription. We’ll gather ten people and each will contribute toward your treatment. You won’t have to worry.”

Their generosity brought me to tears. But deep in my heart, I felt something else stirring. I thanked them sincerely but told them I wanted to try other ways first. That night, I turned to Hashem with everything inside me and said:

“Master of the World, my friends are ready to help, and their hearts are pure. But I do not want the $200,000 that could come from them to go to me. These funds could feed widows, help orphans, support converts, and sustain Torah institutions that keep Your world alive. Please, Hashem — don’t let this kindness be redirected toward me. Let it flow to those who truly need it. I am Your child. Heal me Yourself. Show me that You are my doctor, my provider, and my protector.”

 

Finding Strength In the Names of the Tzaddikim

Around this time, I came across a powerful sefer by Rabbi Nachman of Breslev called Shemot HaTzaddikim. It contains hundreds of names of holy tzaddikim — from the Tanach, Mishnah, Gemara, Geonim, Rishonim, and Acharonim. Rabbi Nachman teaches that reading these names with faith can change nature itself, because each tzaddik’s soul carries a spark of Divine compassion.

Every Shabbat, I would recite the entire book, page by page, whispering each name with deep intention — believing that each name was a key unlocking a new gate of blessing.

 

A Chain Of Miracles Begins

When I called Mount Sinai, they told me they couldn’t accept my insurance and couldn’t schedule me. Then RCCS — Rofeh Cholim Cancer Society — stepped in like angels. They arranged the appointment against all odds and even paid $800 for it themselves.

When my wife and I met the immunologist, we explained that we expected to pay privately if needed. She looked at me and said words I’ll never forget:

“Cohen, your results and your history make it clear — you need this treatment. I will make the insurance pay for it.”

A week later, another denial came — this time because Mount Sinai was out of network. But instead of panicking, I opened Shemot HaTzaddikim again and began to read. For five consecutive weeks, I prayed with tears and sincerity:

“Ribbono Shel Olam, You are the true Healer. You can turn ‘No’ into ‘Yes’ without anyone understanding how. Please do not let me fall into despair or dependence. Let Your Name be sanctified through mercy, not through money.”

Meanwhile, the hospital’s advocacy department escalated my case to the state level. Every delay became another test of patience and emunah. Yet inside, I felt calm — certain that the answer was near.

 

“Approved.”

Then, one ordinary morning, the email arrived: “Your IGG treatment has been approved.”

After six months of struggle, four denials, medical setbacks, and endless waiting — the gates of Heaven opened. The very same insurance company that had rejected us four times overturned its decision.

Shortly after beginning treatment, Baruch Hashem, my body began to strengthen. The fatigue lifted. The infections stopped. Life began to feel alive again.

 

A New Year With Emunah

This wasn’t just one miracle — it was a chain of many. Each obstacle was an invitation to deepen my faith. Each delay was a chance to speak to Hashem more honestly. Through the merit of the tzaddikim, the kindness of friends, the persistence of good people, and the boundless mercy of Hashem — nature itself was changed.

I began my new year not just healthier, but spiritually renewed. I now carry a heart that knows with certainty:

When a child turns to the Ribbono Shel Olam with complete trust, He answers.

Thank You, Hashem — for every moment, every breath, and every kindness, both hidden and revealed.

By Cohen Binyaminov