Beyond Heart

True leadership means responsibility, love, and support. In Parshat Tetzaveh, we learn about the clothing that Aharon HaKohen wore in his service to Hashem. Aharon wore the choshen, the breastplate, over his heart. The choshen had the names of all twelve shevatim inscribed on it, representing the Jewish people and symbolizing that a leader holds his people near and dear to his heart.

The eifod, worn over the back and shoulders, had straps bearing the names of the shevatim. Unlike the choshen, which symbolized love and closeness, the eifod represented responsibility and support. Emblazoned and inscribed on these shoulder straps were the names of the twelve shevatim once again.

Why wasn’t it enough for Aharon to have the shevatim on his heart? Why did he also need to carry them on his shoulders?

I heard from my father, Rav Yitzchok Fingerer shlit"a, that Rav Chaim Tyrer of Czernowitz zt”l, the author of Be’er Mayim Chaim, answers this beautifully. In life, it is not enough to simply hold someone close to your heart. Sometimes, you must lift the person. Sometimes, you must raise them higher and elevate them. That is why Aharon had the names of the shevatim on his shoulders as well—it was not sufficient to simply carry them in his heart; he also had to support them, strengthen them, and lift them up.

Like Aharon HaKohen, we must do more than care—we must take action, lifting those who struggle. So many people today are struggling—whether physically, emotionally, or spiritually—and they need someone to help elevate them. How do you save someone who is drowning? Firefighters, soldiers, and lifeguards all follow a similar principle: to rescue someone, they lift them onto their shoulders. That is our role as well—we must raise each other up, embrace one another, and provide the support that others need.

One story powerfully illustrates this idea. There was a young man from a religious family in Bnei Brak who had gone off the derech. His Yiddishkeit continued to deteriorate, and he eventually planned to marry a non-Jewish woman. One Shabbos, he decided to break the news to his parents and spent Shabbos with them. It was a painful experience for the family—he spent most of Shabbos smoking on the porch.

Before Mincha on Shabbos afternoon, the young man’s father mentioned that he was going to a shiur given by Rav Aharon Leib Shteinman zt”l, one of the great gedolim of the generation. To the father’s surprise, his son agreed to come.

After the shiur, the father introduced his son to Rav Shteinman and mentioned that he no longer observed Shabbos. Rav Shteinman looked at the young man and asked how long it had been since he kept Shabbos. The young man replied, "Two years."

Rav Shteinman then asked, "Have you ever thought about doing teshuvah?" The young man admitted that he had, for about four times, for roughly ten minutes each.

Upon hearing this, Rav Shteinman took the young man’s hand and said, "Forty minutes? Forty minutes! For forty minutes, you were in a place where baalei teshuvah stand—a place where even the greatest tzaddikim cannot stand! I envy you for that! You had a genuine forty minutes of sincere teshuvah! It is an honor and privilege to say Good Shabbos to you."

Rav Shteinman’s words penetrated the young man’s heart. After Shabbos, he decided to break off the engagement with his non-Jewish fiancée. Slowly, he began to return to Yiddishkeit, and eventually, he fully embraced a religious life once again.

Later, his father asked him what had prompted him to go to Rav Shteinman in the first place. The young man shared a story from his childhood:

"When I was a boy in yeshivah, my class went to Rav Shteinman to be tested. He asked very simple questions, but I couldn’t answer mine. Rav Shteinman then asked me an easier question, but again, I didn’t know the answer. Seeing that I was struggling, he asked me an even simpler question, but I still couldn’t respond.

When the test ended, Rav Shteinman gave each boy a candy, but he asked me to stay behind. Once everyone left, he told me, ‘We receive reward based on how hard we try, not on the results. The other boys tried hard to answer one question, so they received one candy. But you tried hard to answer three questions, so you deserve three candies.’ With a warm smile, he handed me three candies.

That moment stayed with me for years. I decided to attend Rav Shteinman’s shiur because I knew he believed in me."

Rav Shteinman did not just acknowledge this young man’s struggles; he lifted him up. He elevated him by showing belief in him.

Our mission is clear: lift, support, and believe in others. Like Aharon HaKohen, we must carry one another in our hearts and on our shoulders. Who in your life can you support today? How can you help lift someone who is struggling? Let’s take action and be there for those who need us most.

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