Sheva Brachot In Restaurants And Shuls

What is the Bukharian Custom?

By Rabbi Nissan Shalomayev, Rav, Bukharian Jewish Cong. of Hillcrest, Kehilat Ohr V'Achdut

The Gemara (Ketubot 7b) tells us that the seven blessings (sheva brachot)1 are recited during the seven days of the wedding celebration only in the following scenarios:

1. Under the chuppah.
2. The remaining seven days only if the following three conditions are met:

(a) The meal (with bread) takes place in the house of the groom.

(b) 10 men, over the age of 13 are present.

(c) There are panim chadashot (new faces/individuals) present.

We will elaborate one the criteria of the meal taking place in the house of the groom.

 

I. THE HOUSE OF THE GROOM

The Gemara (Sukkah 25b) tells us that the mitzvah of proper rejoicing with the chatan and kallah is in the chuppah, the marriage residence. The “marriage residence” can be understood as either specifically in the house of the chatan and kallah, or the Gemara is speaking in the most common scenario (when the wedding celebrations were held in the groom's home), however anywhere the chatan and kallah gather can be classified as a “marriage residence” and the Sheva Brachot can be recited.

The Rambam2 understands that the Gemara was talking specifically in the house of the chatan and kallah, and the seven blessings (sheva brachot) can only be recited in their house3. This is also the opinion of Tosafot.4 However, the Ran (Sukkah 11b DH Ukatvu) and the Meiri disagree. They understand that the Gemara is speaking of the most common scenario, meaning if the chatan and kallah gather to eat and rejoice in another house, the seven blessings (sheva berachot) can be recited5.

The Rosh (Sukkah 2:8) also understands (in the 2nd answer of the Bet Yosef) the Gemara was speaking about the chatan and kallah's house However, if the chatan and kallah and their entourage relocate to another house, that becomes their new "bet chatanim" (house of the groom and bride), and one can recite the seven berachot. For the halachic implications of renting a hotel for a sheva berachot, see footnote6.

 

II. FINAL HALACHA

The Tur (E.H Siman 62) and the Shulchan Aruch7 rule that once the chatan and kallah relocate to a different location, with the intention of returning home, one may not recite the seven blessings (sheva berachot) at the new location. In this case, one may not recite all seven blessings at sheva berachot celebrations that are held in the homes of friends and relatives, or in restaurants. However, one can still recite the blessing of hagefen (the blessing over wine recited by one leading the zimmun), and asher bara (the last of the 7 blessings), and then proceed to drink from the wine8.

Rav David Halevi Segal (1586 – 1667) known as the Taz (E.H 62:7) explains that the Tur and Rosh hold that one is allowed to recite the seven blessings (sheva brachot) even outside the house of the chatan and kallah. He explains that this was the common practice in those times, as the bride and groom would have a special living quarters where the wedding canopy (chuppah) was erected. However, in our days, weddings are often held in banquet halls or restaurants, and therefore it is permitted to recite all seven blessings (sheva brachot) outside the house of the groom. This was also the ruling of Maharal of Prague. The custom amongst the Ashkenazic Jews is to rely on the Taz9.

Even though there are some sephardic poskim10 that want to rule like the Taz and allow recital of sheva brachot outside the house of the groom, the consensus view amongst the Sephardic Jews is to follow the Shulchan Aruch and the Rambam. Rav Ovadia Yosef and Rav Ben Tzion Abba Shaul, rule that Sephardim should follow this ruling of the Shulchan Aruch (for it would constitute as blessings recited in vain which is a severe sin), and recite all seven Brachot only if the meal is held in the house of the groom.

The poskim11 explain on the first night of the wedding, which is the peak of joy, the seven blessings (sheva brachot) may be recited outside of the bride and groom's house. Therefore, even if the wedding takes place in a restaurant or catering hall, the seven blessings (sheva brachot) can be recited there.

 

III. MINHAG OF BUCHARIAN JEWS

When it comes to the custom of the Bukharian Jews there is a misconception amongst the masses. Many will report that the custom is to recite all the seven blessings (sheva brachot) during the remaining seven days even outside the house of the bride and groom. However, this is not quite accurate.

(a) Given the fact that in Bukhara (and other provinces), the only venue of celebration was the couple's residence, which was usually the parents’ home, the blessings were recited only there for the duration of the seven days. Those who claim that the custom was to recite all the seven blessings (sheva brachot) even outside the house of the bride and groom, are working under the assumption that had a different venue been sought out, it would have been just as acceptable. The Bukharian Jews of old held a superstitious custom called "chillah," where post marital and postpartum confinement that barred women from leaving their houses. This custom meant the couple wouldn't leave their residence during that time, and the Sheva Brachot would be performed in their house or residence.

(b) Furthermore, there is no written source for such a custom. On the contrary, Rav Avraham Aminov Tamudi (1854-1939)12 clearly writes13 that the blessings should be recited only in the house of the bride and groom. If the custom amongst the Bukharian community was to recite the blessings even outside the house of bride and groom this would be clearly recorded by Rav Avraham Aminov Tamudi.

Rav Yisrael Chayim Motayev records14 that he asked the elders of the Bukharian community, and they replied that there was no custom amongst the Bukharian community to recite the blessings outside the house of bride and groom.

(c) According to the Shulchan Aruch reciting the seven blessings (sheva berachot) outside the house of the bride and groom constitutes the prohibition of taking the Name of Hashem in vain (Shemot 20:6) which is in violation of the third of the aseret ha-Dibrot (10 Commandments). The Rambam writes15 that there are light sins, and severe ones for which Teshuvah and Yom Kippur have a limited effect, and the sufferings that come upon him complete the atonement. (Meaning one will never achieve complete atonement until one endures suffering). The severe sins are those for which one is liable for execution by the court or karet. However, reciting a brachah levatalah, a blessing in vain, or causing oneself to make an unnecessary blessing (brachah sheinah tzarichah) are also considered severe sins, even though they are not punished by karet. Therefore, for blessings debated by the poskim, halacha dictates leniency and avoids reciting them. This principle is known as "safek brachot lehakel.” (Just as there is a principle of safek brachot lehakel to avoid the sin of reciting a blessing in vain, there is a corresponding principle called safek Amen lehakel to avoid responding Amen to a blessing recited in vain. This means that whenever a blessing is recited but its validity might be uncertain, it is recommended that no one respond Amen to it.)

The Terumat Hadeshen (Siman 34) writes that if a blessing is customarily recited in a specific situation, the principle of safek berachot lehakel can be ignored, and continuing the custom is permissible. However, Rav Ovadia Yosef (Chazon Ovadia - Brachot pg. 253) clarifies this point. He agrees that established customs take precedence over safek brachot lehakel, but only if they were established by recognized Torah scholars with the authority to make such weighty decisions. A community that recently adopted a blessing based on the opinions of some poskim, even for decades, does not have an established custom. They should revert to the principle of safek brachot lehakel and avoid the blessing. No ancient written custom from the elders of Bukhara attests to blessings outside the houses of groom and bride. In fact, evidence suggests the opposite.

The current practice of Bukharian Jews reciting the seven blessings (sheva brachot) outside of the bride and groom's house is not proof of what was originally practiced. It most likely originated by Chabad emissaries (Ashkenazic Jews) that taught Torah in Uzbekistan and instructed everyone to make the seven blessings wherever the bride and groom were, in accordance with Ashkenazi custom.16

Despite reports from some current Bukharian rabbis that it's acceptable, reciting the Sheva Brachot outside the couple's home is considered taking the name of Hashem in vain. (and here we are talking about five blessings that are being recited in vain). Consequently, persistent insistence on reciting five unnecessary blessings outside the house of the bride and groom, misguides the community, for decades adherent to Shulchan Aruch rulings, into reciting vain blessings. The determination of halachah must be free from both emotional influence and the pursuit of personal honor.

 

IV. ACCEPTANCE OF THE RULINGS OF MARAN

Sephardic and Middle Eastern Jews are bound by the customs and rulings of Rav Yosef Caro, the author of Shulchan Aruch, as they have accepted him upon themselves (and their progeny) as the sole halachic authority.

Rav Yitzhak Yosef writes17 that the Bukharian community also have accepted the rulings of Shulchan Aruch as binding upon themselves. Thus, even Bukharian Jews should conform to the rulings of the Shulchan Aruch and recite the seven blessings only in the house of the bride and groom. Even though Maran Rav Yosef Caro writes (in his introduction to the Bet Yosef) that he did not come to uproot customs that existed before he wrote the Bet Yosef, we have established that there is no record of such a custom.

Thus, Rav Yitzhak Yosef (Yalkut Yosef - Sova Semachot 17:6) rules that in order to make all seven blessings (sheva brachot) during the remaining seven days three conditions are necessary:

1) The meal takes place in the house of the bride and groom.

2) At least 10 (adult) men are present.

3) There are at least two panim chadashot (see further).

*NOTE: This should not, in any way, become a source of family conflict. To navigate this situation appropriately, consult with a knowledgeable halachic authority.

 

1 The Ran (Pesachim 7b) writes that these blessings are blessings of praise, and not of mitzvah since we recite them all seven days. However, the Bet Yosef (E.H 62) explains that the Tur is of the opinion that these are blessings of mitzvah. This is also the opinion of Ramban (Pesachim ibid). The practical difference between would be, can one make the blessings before the actual marriage (as we do with any other mitzvah, where we bless before the actual mitzvah) or is it possible to make them even after the marriage ceremony as well.

2 Laws of Marriage (Ishut) 10:3

וְצָרִיךְ לְבָרֵךְ בִּרְכַּת חֲתָנִים בְּבֵית הֶחָתָן קדֶֹם הַנִּשּׂוּאִין וְהֵן שֵׁשׁ בְּרָכוֹת וְאֵלּוּ הֵן

3 See further See Taz (E.H 62:7) and Shulchan Aruch Harav (O.C 639:10)

4 Sukkah 25b DH Ein

משמע מכאן דאם יצא חתן מחופתו אפי' כלתו עמו והולכים לאכול בבית אחר, דאין מברכין שהשמחה במעונו' ולא ברכת חתנים כיון דאין שמחה אלא בחופה

5 Although the Ran concludes that in practice one should be concerned for the opinion of the Tosafot and recite the sheva berachot only in the house of the chatan and kallah.

6 Rav Mordechai Eliyahu (Shu”t Ma’mar Mordechai Vol.2 E.H 6) rules that if the chatan and kallah will be renting a room in a hotel for a Shabbat, and the sheva berachot festivities will be held in the hotel, that can be classified as marriage residence and the Sheva Berachot can be recited. (Rav Meir Mazuz [notes to Shu”t Tefillah Lemoshe vol. 7 Siman 59, nt. 1] similarly suggests that if the Chatan and Kallah rent a private room in a restaurant or catering hall, the sheva berachot can be recited.) However, Rav Ovadia Yosef (Shu”t Yechave Da’at vol. 7 194 nt. 1) opposes deviating from the ruling of the Shulchan Aruch, and in this case, only blessing of hagefen (recited by one leading the zimmun), and asher barah (the last of the blessings) can be recited.

7 E.H Siman 62:10

י"א שאם החתן יוצא מחופתו אפי' כלתו עמו והולכים לאכול בבית אחר אין אומרים שם ברכת חתנים וה"מ כשדעתו לחזור אח"כ לחופתו אבל אם הולך לגמרי לבית אחר וכל החבורה עמו ונעשה אותו בית עיקר גם שם נקרא חופה ומברכין ברכת חתנים וכן לפעמים שהולכין החתן והכלה לעיר אחרת צריך לברך שם ברכת חתנים אם הוא תוך ז' (ואין דעתו לחזור) (ב"י)

8 Taz E.H 62:7, Yalkut Yosef - Sova Semachot pg.307

9 Aruch Hashulchan E.H 62:36

10 See Rabbi Moshe Levi in the Shu’t Tefillah Lemoshe Vol. 7 Siman 58, and Rabbi Ya'akov Moshe Hillel in

Shu't Vayashav Hayam vol.2 Siman 21.

11 Radbaz (4:249) and Kneset Hagedolah 62:67

12 He published Likutei Dinim in 1900 for the common folk in Judeo-Tajik and was the accepted code of law for the Bukharian community.

13 Translation to Hebrew by Rav Hillel Haimoff:

Likutei Dinim - Siman 131:1 (In the parenthesis the source of the halachah is Shulchan Aruch EH 62 and Beer Hetev)

מסיום אמירת שבע הברכות תחת החופה מתחילים שבעת ימי המשתה, וכל סעודה שאוכלים בבית החתן לפני ברכת המזון יזמנו "נברך שהשמחה במעונו" ואם הם עשרה, יזמנו "נברך אלוקינו שהשמחה במעונו

14 Mishmeret Haminhagim, Siman 11

15 Hilchot Teshuva 1:2

16 See further in Bechori Yisrael Vol. 2, pg. 12 that speaks extensively about Ashkenazi (Chabad) influence on

Bukharian customs.

17 Ein Yitzhak vol. 3 pg. 192-194