Honoring One’s Father in the Synagogue  

Chacham Ben Zion Abba Shaul, in his work Or Le’sion, addresses the case of one who meets somebody to whom he is obligated to show honor just before he enters the synagogue. This would include his father, father-in-law, grandfather, older brother, an elderly person and a Torah scholar. In such a case, the question arises as to whether or not one is required to allow the other person to enter the synagogue first. There is an important Mitzvah to be among the first ten men in the synagogue, and an even greater Mitzvah to be the first person in the synagogue. Should one forego on this Mitzvah in order to show respect to his father (or the other people mentioned above), or does the Mitzvah to be the first person in the synagogue take precedence? Chacham Ben Zion rules that even in this case one must show respect to his father and allow him to enter the synagogue first. Honoring one’s parents is an outright Halachic obligation ("Hiyub Gamur"), while being the first in the synagogue is a very worthwhile Mitzvah, but not a strict obligation. Hence, one may not forego on his father’s honor for the purpose of fulfilling the Mitzvah of entering the synagogue first. Another interesting issue that arises with regard to honoring one’s father in the synagogue has to do with Mitzvot that are "auctioned" to the congregants. The Kanhag records an incident where the honor of reciting the Bracha over the Lulav was auctioned in the synagogue, and a man bid for this Mitzvah on behalf of Rav David Hakohen, a distinguished Rabbi. The Kanhag also sought to purchase this Mitzvah, and placed a higher bid. People questioned why this was permissible, as it seemed disrespectful to the other Rabbi, on whose behalf the man sought to purchase this Mitzvah. The Kanhag explained that performing a Mitzvah overrides the concern for the Rabbi’s honor, and it was therefore appropriate to offer a higher bid for the Mitzvah even against a bid made on behalf of a prominent Rabbi. Chacham Yitzchak Yosef, in his Yalkut Yosef (Honoring Parents, p. 363), cites some authorities who extend the Kanhag’s ruling to a situation of bidding against one’s father. According to these views, one may offer a bid in the synagogue for an Aliya or other Mitzvah even against the bid made by his father, as the concern for one’s own Mitzvah performance takes precedence over the concern for honoring his father. Others, however, maintain that one should not seek to outbid his father, even for the purpose of a Mitzvah. Halacha follows the second view. If a son has the means to offer a higher bid than his father in the synagogue, then he should make a bid to purchase the Mitzvah on behalf of his father, in order to give him honor.

 By Rabbi Eli Mansour