The Relationship Between Yaakov And Eisav That Could Have Been

There was an elderly carpenter who was ready to retire. He told his boss of his plans to leave the house-building industry in order to enjoy a more leisurely lifestyle with his wife. He would miss the weekly paycheck, but he was ready to retire, and they could get by on his savings. The contractor was sorry to see his best worker go and asked if the carpenter could build just one more house as a personal favor to him. The carpenter was reluctant, as he really was ready to retire, but the contractor pushed him until he relented. However, it soon became clear that his heart was just not in it. He resorted to shoddy, hasty workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end a dedicated career. When the carpenter finished his work, his boss came to inspect the house. He then handed the keys to the carpenter and said, “This is your house, as my parting gift to you.”

The carpenter was shocked! If only he had known he was building his own house, he would have invested so much more effort.

The same is true of our lives as well. Through every day and every action, we are building our own home, our eternal existence. The mind we’re building, the views we attach ourselves to, the thoughts we generate - this is the reality that we live in. If we were aware of this, we would be so much more careful with how we laid down each brick. Let us take a deeper look and see how this idea connects to Yaakov Avinu’s role in this world.

Yaakov vs. Eisav

As we’ve previously discussed, the cosmic battle between Yaakov and Eisav is the battle between ikar and tafel. The ikar (primary) is the inner essence and main entity, while the tafel (secondary) is that which enables the ikar to flourish. The ideal is for the tafel (that which is secondary and lower) to perfectly and loyally reflect the ikar (the inner spiritual essence) - for the body to faithfully reflect the truth and depth of the soul, for all of physicality to fully reflect its spiritual root.

Both Yaakov and Eisav wanted the spiritual and the physical, and this was the root of their battle. Yaakov wanted to use the physical as a vehicle for the spiritual, as a tool to fully utilize and actualize spiritual potential. Eisav, on the other hand, sought to use the animation of the soul to indulge in the physical. Essentially, Eisav flipped the ikar and tafel; he viewed the physical as ikar (main) and the spiritual as tafel (secondary), a necessary instrument for experiencing the physical world. This was the battle between Yaakov and Eisav: a battle of ikar versus tafel, a battle of perception.

The Relationship That Could Have Been

Originally, Yaakov and Eisav were meant to work together, in a synthesized, harmonious partnership. Yaakov would perfect the spiritual, the ikar, while Eisav would perfect the physical, the tafel, creating a perfect vessel for Yaakov. The spiritual (Yaakov) was meant to imbue and fully manifest within the physical (Eisav). Together, they would have converged to become a single, cohesive unit, working as one.

Yitzchak saw this potential within Eisav, which is why he originally sought to give Eisav the Brachot (blessings). However, a careful reading of the Torah makes it clear that Yitzchak intended to bless both Yaakov and Eisav – Eisav for the physical domain, and Yaakov for the spiritual domain. This is why Yitzchak ultimately gave Yaakov two sets of Brachot - the one intended for Eisav, and the one he always planned to give Yaakov. This was a recognition of Yaakov and Eisav’s unique roles- Eisav as the physical vessel, and Yaakov as the spiritual essence.

However, Eisav corrupted his mission, and instead of perfecting the physical as a loyal vessel for the spiritual, he isolated the physical as an end in itself, completely disconnecting it from the spiritual. When Yaakov saw this, he realized that Eisav would not fulfill his part of their partnership. He therefore decided to intervene and buy the bechora, taking on Eisav’s role in addition to his own. Yaakov now became responsible for both aspects of their intended partnership: perfecting the spiritual and perfecting the physical.

Based on this, the statement Yaakov made to Yitzchak when he received the Brachot - “I am Eisav, your firstborn”- was actually true. Yaakov did not lie to Yitzchak, rather he revealed a deep truth. Yaakov had undergone an existential metamorphosis. He took on Eisav’s role, and in a deep way, became Eisav. In respect to his spiritual role, Yaakov was now both Yaakov and Eisav. Yaakov, the pillar of truth, didn’t lie to Yitzchak; he revealed the inner truth of this new spiritual identity, his new spiritual role.

Yaakov, Rachel, and Leah

This idea completely transforms our perception of Yaakov’s relationship with Rachel and Leah. As Rashi explains, Rachel was destined to marry Yaakov, and Leah was originally destined to marry Eisav, which is why she constantly cried. However, once Yaakov tool over Eisav’s role, he marries both Rachel and Leah, a reflection his of new dual role.

Marriage is an existential bond where two opposites combine into a harmonious oneness. Eisav’s orientation and mission were completely physical, and he was therefore meant to marry Leah, a woman who was completely spiritual. She was destined to help Eisav manifest control over the physical world, in order to perfect it and prepare it for Yaakov’s spiritual mission.

The same dynamic applied to Yaakov and Rachel. Yaakov, who was completely spiritual, was destined to marry Rachel, whose strength lay in her ability to properly use the physical. Rachel embodied the perfection of physicality and was the ideal partner to help Yaakov connect his spiritual potency to the physical world. This is why Rachel is described as physically beautiful, and why Yosef, their son, is the only male in the Torah who is described as physically beautiful. Rachel’s physical beauty reflected her role: Her physical body loyally reflected her spiritual soul, and her mission was to help Yaakov fully manifest the spiritual within the physical world.

Change of Plans

However, as Eisav continued down the wrong path, Yaakov and Rivka saw that he wouldn’t play the role he was meant to. As such, the plan had to change. Once Yaakov bought the bechora from Eisav, he took over both roles; he became both Yaakov and Eisav. Accordingly, he now had to marry both Rachel and Leah! The Yaakov in him had to marry Rachel, and the Eisav in him had to marry Leah. Consequently, when Lavan tricked Yaakov, it wasn’t regarding his marriage to Leah, but only the order in which he would marry her. Instead of marrying Rachel first, he was tricked into marrying Leah first. But he was going to marry Leah all along!

Yisachar and Zevulun

Although the ideal relationship between Yaakov and Eisav became corrupted, a similar partnership would ultimately be achieved later in history, by a different set of brothers. At the end of Sefer Devarim, Moshe Rabeinu gives Brachot to all of the shvatim. He blesses Yisachar and Zevulun together, saying “Rejoice, Zevulun, in your departure, and Yisachar in your tents” (Devarim 33:18). Rashi explains, based on the midrash, that Yisachar and Zevulun worked as partners: The tribe of Zevulun lived on the seashore and departed on ships to trade and make profit, while the tribe of Yisachar remained in their tents and learned Torah. Zevulun provided for both tribes, and they shared in the merits of Yisachar’s Torah learning.

This could have been the relationship between Yaakov and Eisav; Yaakov would have fulfilled the role of Yisachar, perfecting the spiritual, while Eisav would have fulfilled the role of Zevulun, devoting his life to bringing the spiritual down into the physical, actualizing spiritual potential. But once Eisav strayed, Yaakov took over both roles.

Originally, Yisachar would have come from Yaakov and Zevulun would have come from Eisav. However, once Yaakov took over Eisav’s role, he now held the potential for both Yisachar and Zevulun, which is why both of them were born to Yaakov. It is strange, though, that both Yisachar and Zevulun came from Leah. Shouldn’t one of them have come from Rachel? 

I would like to suggest an answer which I think beautifully reflects everything we’ve discussed so far. Originally, Yaakov was meant to have Yisachar with Rachel, representing the role of perfecting the spiritual, while Eisav was meant to have Zevulun with Leah, representing the role of perfecting the physical. However, once Yaakov took over Eisav’s role, he was meant to have both Yisachar and Zevulun: Yisachar with Rachel and Zevulun with Leah. Yet, we find a fascinating and enigmatic scene that takes place between Rachel and Leah. After having difficulty conceiving more children, Rachel sold her right to be with Yaakov to Leah in exchange for the duda’im, hoping it would help her become pregnant. What happened right after this sale? The very next pasuk tells us that Leah gave birth to Yisachar! In other words, in return for the duda’im, Rachel sold her rights to have Yisachar. Leah now became the mother of both Yisachar and Zevulun. Soon afterwards, Rachel was zocheh to have Yosef.

Our Role

We are entrusted with the power of choice; we can choose how to use the potential we are given, how to see the physical world, and how to live our lives. We must ask ourselves: “What kind of house am I building?” Are we building a broken, sloppy house? Or are we building something beautiful and majestic, something we have invested in and committed ourselves towards? Let’s follow in Yaakov’s footsteps, and find our unique role within the Yisachar-Zevulun partnership; let’s focus on harmony, synthesis, and oneness, as opposed to machlokes, breakdown, and turmoil. Our journey in life is like building a skyscraper; every day is another brick, another opportunity to add to our eternal self, our eternal existence. The end result is the product of every bit of effort that we invested. May we be inspired to devote our lives to building the extraordinary, so that one day we can look back and see the beautiful skyscraper we have built.

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Shmuel Reichman is an author, educator, speaker, and coach who has lectured internationally on topics of Torah, psychology, and leadership. He is the founder and CEO of Self-Mastery Academy, the transformative online self-development course that is based on the principles of high-performance psychology and Torah. After obtaining his Bachelors degree from Yeshiva University, he received his Masters degree in Jewish Thought from the Bernard Revel Graduate School, in addition to studying at Azrieli. He is currently finishing Semikha at RIETS while pursuing a PhD at the University of Chicago, and has also studied at Harvard through the Ivy Plus Exchange Scholar Program, completing graduate coursework there as part of his PhD. To find more inspirational lectures, videos, and articles from Shmuel, or to learn more about Self-Mastery Academy, visit his website: www.ShmuelReichman.com